Miguel & Miguel-ela?

Well, it finally happened: I went down—hard—with the flu. Not the “oh-that’s-what-Coco-Puffs-look-like-in-reverse” flu, but the achy, heavy chest, head pounding, feel-modestly-normal-until-I-stand-up-and-am-dizzy kind of flu.

The only upside to being home sick is finally having the uninterrupted access to the television and general home silence required to do something I almost never do, which today has been to watch a girly-ish movie, Julie & Julia (2009).

Which of course got me to wondering (or hallucinating via the fever) what it would be like to spend a year emulating Miguel. Then I realized, I sort of have, save the DUI bit.

In the spirit of the clever cutaways in the film that help the viewer see, easily, the parallels between Julie Powell and Julia Child’s lives, here’s my own brief mock-up.

  1. We’re both assholes when we drink. Miguel was a supreme douche to the arresting officer, where I am known to do awesome things like being extra-snarky to friends/frenemies, and/or pick politically based fights with my husband. I stopped drinking a few days before Thanksgiving, and I’m less of an asshole.
  2. We’re both big softies. Look at this photo of Miguel hugging it out with Al Avila, who translated during the “sorry, guys” presser last week. I saw it at work and teared up. I also got a little weepy when my little-big brother, who I told you looks like Miggy, called me this afternoon.
  3. We’re both Catholics—or sort of, anyhow. I’m a regular, boring Catholic. Miguel is a Catholic practitioner of Santeria (which is, I assure you, way fucking cooler than the God-awful Sublime tune of the same name) and, in the 2006 off-season, became a babalao—a sort of priest of Santeria. That’s much cooler than completing your Confirmation, obviously.
  4. Miguel has mastered the inside-out swing: taking an inside pitch, pulling your hands in, and dropping the bat head to connect with perfect form (you end up looking straight down on the ball as you hit it, almost like a golf swing), sending the pitch into right field. I’ve done this exactly three times in practice.
  5. Oh, yeah, we’re both power right-handed hitters.
  6. I started my career as a third baseman and have been training since October 30 to get back to my roots. Miggy started as a 3B, too—and of course we all remember the drama that caused when he came to the Tigers in 2007, and Inge was moved, and Guillen played first, and so on.

Ultimately, though, I am hoping this year Miggy and I will have a few happier things in common. I hope we both have MVP seasons, and that Miggy joins me in being blissfully happy and fulfilled and only an occasional asshole, but constantly sober.

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