Cheesiest Valentine’s Day ever

TV advertising and the insane amount of heart themed decorations at my local supermarché have notified me that Valentine’s Day has rolled around yet again. I’ve mentioned before I don’t really care about this “holiday.”  It might sound like I’m trying to be cool with the anti-Valentine’s Day attitude, but I seriously don’t think about it. Now, happily married (I’m really not trying to be a bitch about this if you’re Pro-V and single), Valentine’s Day just isn’t important. . . unless you’re going to go ALL OUT for it.

February of 1998 I celebrated Valentine’s Day with my high school boyfriend with the most clichéd date in the history of clichés.  We had a romantic (read: Italian) dinner at a local eatery, I was presented with flowers and a heart shaped box full of candy, and we went to the movies to see THE MOST craptastically romantic movie that ever wooed an entire generation of adolescent girls: TITANIC


Cheesiest Valentines Day EVER. For me, anyway.  I was too young to get a marriage proposal from my true love on top of the Empire State Building after finding a ring in my champagne glass while a brass band played “All You Need is Love” with fireworks going off in the background and a fuck ton of white doves flying over our heads after an dinner where we shared a comically long spaghetti noodle while two Italian characitures serenaded us, so I settled for watching Titanic.  (This is what everyone was striving for in 1998, right?  I have no idea)

Anyway, this year I plan to top it.  Husband is in Moscow on this heartiest of days for a conference (it’s when the best miserable Russian weather is in season, really) and I’ll be home alone.

But, wait, I hear nobody say, how will you make Valentine’s Day cheesy with all sorts of love sans husband??


A couple of dear friends and I are actively taking part in making Valentine’s Day cheesy  via a homemade cheese sauce and watching anything and everything romantically ridiculous on Netflix and YouTube.  I’ll miss Husband, of course, but in his absence I really can’t think of anything more cheesy and beautiful than nachos and THUMBTANIC.*

Happy Valentines Day, everyone!  I hope all your thumbs go on!

*Disclaimer: I did not discover “Thumbtanic” by myself.  I happen to be friends with some awesomely wacky people.

Lindsey Malta writes “Thoughtcicles” for The Idler.

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