PopHeart’s Xmas wishlist

Twas some weeks until Xmas and all through my brain
Sweet visions of presents are keeping me sane…


Lacoste bathrobe On sale $69.99 at macys.com

This gal don’t wear kerchiefs, long nightgowns or caps,
I wander in robes and in them I nap.

mustache mug

Ron Swanson mug $14 nbcuniversalstore.com

And when I arise, my head needs a hug,
the gift of caffeine in a Ron Swanson mug!

charcoal mask

Pore-clearing charcoal mask $23 sephora.com

I then check the mirror and step back with appall.
Please give me the skin of a porcelain doll.


Peter Pan collar tee Asos $52 asos.com

Away to my closet, I look like a wretch!
— A Peter Pan collar could make more fetch…


Kat Von D Painted Love lipstick in celebutard or Agatha mod pink $19 sephora.com

I’d put on some lipstick, I’d brighten my pout,
but my last favorite shade is in Rupert’s* fat snout.

The Queer Art of Failure

The Queer Art of Failure by Judith Halberstam $15.61 amazon.com

So, less thoughts of makeup; let’s plump up my mind!
Rethinking losing in this book I’ll find.

no regrets

“No Regrets” Cameo Necklace $30 fab.com

And to round out the wishlist of this weary-boned plodder
A cameo necklace…just a little bit…odder.

Or. . .

Make me a drink or sing me a song
Or hug me quite tightly or bring me along

On a sleigh ride adventure, or to a wrestling fight,
Just don’t leave me lonely on Xmas eve night.

Enjoy your roast beast, hold your weird family dear,
Happy Idling times and I’ll see you next year!

* Rupert is my dachshund and he ate my favorite Kat Von D lipstick. For reals.

Ana Holguin writes PopHeart for The Idler.

2 Responses to “PopHeart’s Xmas wishlist”
  1. Ana Holguin says:

    Should read: A Peter Pan collar would *make* me more fetch. That was bothering me because it made me sound like this: http://www.hulu.com/watch/433386

%d bloggers like this: